Book Trailer For My Upcoming Debut

My friends, this book trailer will knock your socks off, or at the very least, make you sit up and take notice.

This trailer was created, as well as the book cover, by the talented Kelly Abell and her graphics company Select-O-Grafix. Seriously, if you need any kind of marketing product created, be it cover or a book trailer like what you see, by all means please check them out. In addition to being a talented graphics artist, she is also a multi-published author.

Feel free to leave a comment here, or at the video itself, as it is searchable on YouTube.

Once again, major props to Kelly Abell for all of her fantastic work on my book cover and on my book trailer too.

Many Days In The Life Of Yello Bear (5)

Oh shaddup will you? Until I get to the last picture in this post, this blog still belongs to Yello Bear, not you. So be off with you and let me entertain these good folks in peace. We're still hanging ten at the playground and as you can see, I's getting ready to do a little wall climbing. Or a little wall diving, take your pick. If my nose and face looks a little discolored, it's due to an overly affection doggy deciding to use me as a chew toy. Doggy breath...feh!

G's daughter Jenelle getting ready for a dance competition.

I's chillin' out on the bird feeder, which due to the fact that G is flat broke, hasn't been filled with birdseed since July.

I's love climbing trees so that I can survey my kingdom!

And now it's time for my siesta. I hope you enjoyed this small sampling of the many busy days in the life of Yello Bear, because I sure have enjoy spending my time with all of you. Take and have a fun-filled stress free rest of the year!

Done?

Yeah, I'm done.

Kewl beans. I thank you muchly, Yello Bear.

De nada.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so we come to the end of not only this fascinating glimpse into the life of Yello Bear, but to the current incarnation of this blog as well. This fun filled pictorial blog is going on a well deserved vacation as yours truly tries to decide whether he should re-tool this blog into something a little different, or make the temporary vacation a little more permanent.

Many Days In The Life Of Yello Bear (4)

I is...ummm...G is loaded with money today and he decided to lend me a couple of Jacksons so that I could buy some gourmet honey imported from Ulee's of Florida. Damn good stuff that honey is.

"G here. Thought I would give everyone a brief respite from listening to the yellow mighty mouth and show you a little bit of the homestyle graffiti that has been gracing this particular bridge ever since I was a child of my daughter's age. This particular bridge is the one that brings you into Newington from points north and west and takes you out from points south and east. The road I'm standing on is one that should be familiar with everyone who has read this blog, as it has been featured at least once a month during this entire blog's existence. Anyways, this is one of only two spots that is heavily adorned with graffiti, with the other being directly behind me."

That's enough of G warbling his tiny little thoughts on my blog...umm...his blog. Back to me. I'm catching up on my suntan in this picture. Hoo boy was it hot that day!

And here I is going for a ride on a bicycle, courtesy of G's daughter Jenelle and her best friend E. Man I had a good time riding around on that bicycle.

And here I is getting ready to go down the slide at Jenelle's former school's playground. Jenelle is in 5th grade this year and has moved onto the middle school for her classes. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And here I is riding on the playground zip line. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Many Days In The Life Of Yello Bear (3)

Hello dare! It is I, your old pal Yello Bear, who is none the worse for where. I've come through unscathed from Tropical Storm Irene last weekend and I trust that all of my good friends and readers have the same outcome as well. If you're all good and comfy, we shall continue where we had left off from two week ago.

Yello simply loves supporting his local businesses, and one of his favorites (as well as his left hand man G's) is Goldburgers. Goldburgers has the best dang burgers, hot dogs, fries, onion rings and daily specials that this bear has ever seen in his short lifetime. If you're in the local area, give Goldburgers a try. After all, their signature burger, the Goldburger, made the Hartford Courant's top ten list of best burgers in the state.

And here I is, checking out some fantastic concoction that G is about to sink his teeth into. I don't know what it is, but it sure does smell something good. And he's got some good old fashioned hand cut french fries as well (Goldburgers also features sweet potato fries too). Ain't nothing better than feasting on good eats in the spring.

And I's just chillin' chillin' on this nice oh-so-comfy roadside couch. Man, I bets you're just so jealous of me. I know G is, 'cause he has to lug me and this nifty camera around all day, with no rest for the weary. I'm telling you, I's just get worn out from telling him what to do and where to go all day.

I just loves pointing out all the local businesses that Newington has to offer.

And Yello Bear always likes eating Girl Scout cookies and..... What? You like to say something G?

G nods his head vigorously

Okay, go fer it.

"G here. If I could be serious for a moment. The local Girl Scout troop were selling cookies in front of the bank that day (the bank is heavily into being a genuinely good corporate citizen of the community) and in fact, I had asked permission if I could take a picture of Yello Bear surrounded by Girl Scout cookies. The scout leader happily and whole heartedly gave her permission, so I snapped a picture and then bought a box of cookies to donate to the military. So my friends, support the men and women of the military as much as you can. It doesn't matter what your political leanings are, just remember that these brave people are doing a job that they choose and believe in, and we should always keep that fact in mind."

Mother Nature Interruptus

For those of you who were expecting a new post here, it's been delayed a week, due to Mother Nature's temper tantrum called Hurricane Irene, which is expected to deliver a nasty drive-by to Connecticut this weekend (August 27th & 28).

Many Days In The Life Of Yello Bear (2)

After I had G take me to the post office to buy some money orders in which to pay my bills, I was feeling a bit peckish. So I had G take me to D&D to pick up a tasty munchie in which to quench my hunger. Now since I often like to share my tasty snack with my friend, this usually means I don't buy something with lots of sugar, like a cinnamon roll or a Boston eclair, or even a glazed donut (mmmm....donut). Instead, I buy a tasty bagel or croissant, toasted to a golden brown and dripping with butter (mmmm....butter). Yummy for the tummy!

A brief interruption as Holly the Cat was throwing a temper tantrum because she wanted to make an appearance and I didn't want her in my little pictorial journey. However, G prevailed because he threatened to make me listen to Robert Byrd and his magical banjo of bluegrass if I didn't agree to let Holly make an appearance. Since I, Yello Bear, is a diehard moderate Republican with hardly any leanings to the left side of the aisle, and the thought of listening to a moldy oldy politician playing music scares me almost as much as admitting to the fact that I voted for Slick Willie twice*, I acquiesced.

And what journey wouldn't be complete without making a stop at this blog's favorite park and front page header. G was complaining that he needed a breather, so even though I was full of vim and vinegar and roaring to go, I gave G the benefit of the doubt and made a pit stop at the Banks Corner Park. He sat on his butt shortly after taking this picture, while I decided to soak up a few rays of sunshiny goodness.

Our ultimate destination this day was the school playground, where G's daughter spent K-4 attending school. I just loves the swing, and the fortunate thing is that G does as well. So much so that short after taking this pic, he hopped on the swing and swung until he was about ten feet in the air. Naturally he didn't jump off, but instead gave me a boost and I jumped an extra fifteen in the air and executed a perfect 1440 before landing in the soft wood chips on my belly.

And unlike G, I is very good in geography, as you can see that I was able to pick out the fine state of Connecticut from this funky colored map on the first try.

G!
You bellowed?
You blithering idiot! How many times do I have to tell you that before you post a picture, you have to make doubly sure that it is facing in the proper direction!
What? It's facing in the right direction. Aren't you laying down to take a nap?
No, I'm not lying down taking a nap, you doofus! This is a picture of me sitting on the wall holding my walking stick! If I was lying down, do you seriously think that the stick would still be horizontal like that?
Ummm, yes?
WHAT? ARE YOU NUTS? DID YOU NOT EAT YOUR WHEATIES TODAY? DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING AND DECIDE THAT BEING STUPID SHOULD BE THE FIRST THING ON YOUR TO-DO LIST TODAY?!
Ummm, no.
You and I need to have a seriously long chat in the backyard when we get home today. Do I make myself clear, crystal or otherwise?

G shuffles off towards home, leaving an angry Yello Bear to stew in his own juices

*Truthfully, I voted for Clinton twice, only because GHWB wasn't a viable candidate the first time, and Bob Dole definitely wasn't a viable candidate the second time.

Many Days In The Life Of Yello Bear (1)

No, it's not this particular fun-filled song (used for a theme song in a syndicated radio show called Flashback in the 80's), but simply a peek at the many days in my life.

Howdy everyone! Yello Bear here, with my trusty left hand man G doing the transcription and whatever else that I deem necessary to the stroking of my ginormous ego here on my new home. Forget about the fact that this blog is maintained by my trusty left hand man G here, this is Yello Bear's blog now. I may turn it back over to G if he stops doing his impersonation of the gimp and starts acting more like Sherman.

I usually like to start my mornings off with a little branch balancing. I need to keep extra flexible so that I can drink all of that honey flavored Mello Yello soda without getting sick. Just look how toned my arms and legs are in this picture. I tell ya, I am one hot piece of bear that the chicks go crazy over.

Hey G! Didn't I tell you not to take any pictures without me in them? Yes, I know its Old Glory flying at half staff. Man, that flag does look majestic flying in the wind, don't it? Okay, Old Glory is the only righteous exception that I will make to my egotistical rules. You did good and I'm proud of you.

I do all of my banking at Webster Bank, for two reasons: 1} it's best local bank in the state, which is saying a lot because most of the local banks have been swallowed up by very large corporations (Wells Fargo, Niagara), and 2} it ain't Skank of America.

I also like to have my morning cup of java from D&D, but G scoffs at my choice of liquid refreshment, so he goes to...yeech...Starbucks. And sometimes, he'll drink Starbucks sleazier offspring, Seattle's Best Brew. I mean, what kind of manly man drinks coffee from some yuppie-fied place that features healthy foods and c.d.'s from people who should've left the music biz 15 years ago?

After I get my caffeine crave satisfied at D&D, I next go to the post office to pick up a few money orders and stamps so that G can pay my bills for me. What? No, I don't spend MY money to pay MY bills. I spend G's money to pay MY bills. After all, isn't that what a left hand man is for? Exactly, a bottomless pit of money.

Twinkletoes Ted (5)

...and he still managed to slip away. Cursing, I ran after him, but I slipped on the whale's bodily fluids. Ted ran up the fifty-seven flights of stairs and hopped on the first elevator that opened. I dove after the elevator, but the stinker closed on my fingers. Writhing around on the floor in agony, I heard Ted say, "Fast as fast can be, you'll never find a way to catch me."


THE END.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friends, I ran out of words for the short story, thus the lame finish. What I now present to you is a brief descriptive journey for the rest of the pics. Hope you like.

First up is this pic of my mother's parrot. Named "Kaylie", most of the family wants to make parrot fricassee out it. Correction, I want to make parrot fricassee out of it. The rest of the family just wants it to expire either by natural or unnatural means. She picked up this bad boy some ten years ago and it's been a pain in the buttocks ever since. This pic was taken in the dining room, and yes, underneath all of that clutter is an old-fashioned upright piano. And yes, I actually dislike this parrot. Immensely. This parrot though, does have an outstanding vocabulary and likes to talk about our dead dog Cinders.

This is a better picture of my daughter Jenelle. Same cluttered dining room and same upright piano. At this particular point, the parrot was probably in the living room irritating everyone.

This was a poorly taken shot of Mill Brook stream. I was trying to shoot between the links on the fence, and as you can plainly see, I failed. This part of the stream actually runs behind one of the local elementary schools.

This is my cat Holly, or rather this is Holly, whose caretaker is yours truly. Her bed is really on the back of the couch, with her new favorite resting place, the bay window in the rear. Her favorite resting place used to be up in my bedroom, but since the central air went kaput two weeks ago (and won't be fixed until next week), she moved to where it's much cooler.

Same couch, different pose. The items next to the couch are skeins of yarn, which are my wife's. She crochets, mostly blankets and is very good at it.

So my friends, this concludes the silly portion of this blog. Tune in next week when I'll be starting the travelogue in earnest.

Twinkletoes Ted (4)

I regained enough sobriety to come stag-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-gering towards the HIC HIC HIC HIC HIC HIC towards the back man I have such a wicked headache and my stomach's swirling of the building to where Lolly was crying for help.

After I'd dug her out from those aromatically super-duper-stickier-than-super-gluing-your-fingers-together pine cones, I repeatedly asked, "Where's Ted?" while doing my best imitation of Beatrix beating the snot out of Buck by smacking myself upside my head with a two by four.

A passerby, who was enjoying my impersonation of Professor Gumby singing "It's Only Make Believe" while bashing his head with a brick, said, "Ted went inside, mumbling that he was gonna make everyone rue the day."

With brain cells pouring out my ears, I grab Lolly and drag into the building.


As we round the corner to the elevators, Ted takes a flying leap of the chair and lands right on my Achy Breaky head. He starts to jump up and down and all around, turning my brain into mush and cognizant skills, already severely reduced due to the case of bottles I done inhaled in the previous chapter, into watery mush.....ummmm......ummmmm........

"I lunge at Ted, only to miss and land flat on my partner's stomach. I'm completely upset because I smudged my makeup, and so I let Ted to flee the scene. Boy was I mad. I mean, do you know how long it took me to get my makeup just right?" says Lolly.

"Suddenly I hear him calling out, 'Fast as fast can be, you'll never catch me!"
~
I leave a scrambled Humpty with Yeggs Benedictine the short order cook, and I run up those seventeen flights of stairs to the tippity top of the building, where I find Twinkletoes Ted sitting on a ledge and threatening to cast a spell over the city with his horrific dancing.
~

I jump to the ledge, grab him by his ears and slap the kitty cuffs on him.



I create a temporary holding cell for him by using a wire mail basket, and confident that he wasn't going to escape any time soon, go running down the twenty-seven flights {this is my short story, so it don't have to make sense, so there. nyah.} of stairs back to the lobby.
~
To my horror, Yeggs Benedictine was about to crack open my partner's head so as to make some sensational eggs Benedict with his insides. I run up to Yeggs, snatch the spatula from his hands and say, "Look, my partner just don't give up his insides for no one you know. You have to be on the exam list and have a score in the top 2% of the class. Furthermore...."
~
Furthermore, I couldn't finish my thought because a brown thingy went zipping by my head. Leaning over the railing, I took a face full of water.


Ted had made good his escape on the back of a sperm whale. Some how, some way, that sperm whale had come to life and Ted was making a legitimate attempt at carrying out his previous threat.
~
Irate beyond anyone's imagination, I gave Yeggs a slap across the face with his spatula and ran down another twenty seven flights of stairs to the lobby, so as to apprehend that fiendish fiend, Twinkletoes Ted.

But alas, it was not to be. Ted turned around and began mocking me over my inability to catch him. "Fast as fast can be, I'm the be all to end all."

~

Grinding my teeth, I lunge towards the sperm whale and I just manage to get my hand on that big old fin of his....

Twinkletoes Ted (3)

...which knocked me flat on my buttocks {gotta keep this blog squeaky clean}. Suffice to say, I was royally ticked off to the nth degree that someone would have the audacity to throw a ballet shoe at me. I mean, really, a black ballet shoe? No taste in color. Anyways, Lolly ran over and said, "Humpty, it's....."

She didn't have to say anything else. The strange background music (Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. I mean really, how bombastic can you get?) said it all.

Twinkletoes Ted! The most fiendish, perhaps the most cunning of all the two-bit pantywaist misanthropes that it has been our marked displeasure to come across in all our years of pseudo-police work. The fiend....the fiend....Moe, Larry the cheese!....the fiend was sulfur city bent on continuing his reign of terror among the masses. What reign of terror, you may ask?

The most hideous form of terror that you can think of: bad dancing. Yes, he makes people dance to the exact same song in the exact same way, films them doing it, and threatens to post the video on YouTube....unless they pay him a plethora of cold hard unfeeling Andrews, pompous Ulysses, or majestic Benjamins.

"Fast as fast can be, you can't catch me! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" says Ted as he flings his other ballet shoe, jumps, clicks his heels and dashes off like a deranged newscaster.

I scramble to my feet and dashed out the door....

....only to run face first into Red Stripe, the legendary ten foot tall beer bottle from Jamaica. After falling down on my buttocks and being drenched with that delightfully aromatic...ummm....airomatic....ummm...hey man, pash me anodder cold 'un, that's shome good schtuff........~~~~.....~~~~.....

Lolly comes running up to the scene and sees to her disappointment and disgust that Humpty is now fried like a seriously overcooked omelet. Pulling out a spatula that she got from SPATULA CITY, she peels Humpty off the ground and slings him over to the TRex mobile. Sighing, she strolls back to Red Stripe and gives him what for. Threatening to call Carrie Nation back from the dead, she soon gets the info she needs.

Leaving Red Stripe quivering in his golden barley, she is soon tripping to the light fantastic....

....to Flatbush, home of Mr. Met. Or rather, Mr. Met's baseball, Baby Met. She kicks open the door and grabs Baby Met with both hands and starts to squeeze him like a roll of Charmin. "Okay little man, you're just so cuddly and squeezable that I'll think I'll take you home and introduce you to my friend Lenny."
~~~~~~

Baby Met gulped and said, "Not that, anything but that! You know what he'll do? He'll hug me and squeeze me and pet me and hold me and call me George! I'm too young to be called George!"
"Well then, start talking. Where's Teddy?"
~~~~~

Before Baby Met can answer, another ballet shoe comes flying through the window and hits Lolly square on the forehead. She turns and runs out of the house ands frantically looks up and down the street for any sign of Ted.



"Nyah, Nyah!"
Lolly hears that mocking call and twirls around to see where it's coming from, but she sees nothing.
"Nyah, Nyah! Fast as fast can be, I be chillin' in front of my apartment building."
"Where is he??? Where is that little fuzzy bear twerp??? I know, he must be in the bushes," says Lolly, who runs down the side street and dives headlong into the bushes.

She starts to scrounge around on the bottom, when suddenly she gets bombarded with a ton of pine cones. By the time the barrage stops, she is buried under a pile of sticky, smelly pine cones. Poking her head out, she looks straight up and sees Ted sitting as pretty as he can be, on the very tippy top of the tree, saying, "Fast as fast can be, now you can't possibly reach me!"

Twinkletoes Ted (2)

So after spending forty-five minutes waiting for Lolly to finish brushing her hair 100 strokes, touching up her lipstick, putting on eyeliner, brushing her hair, deciding what shirt to wear does this make me look fat?, what jeans to wear, what shoes to wear, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc., I grabbed the half side of beef and ran out to the TRex-mobile.

After sticking the side of beef on the pole vault pole and waving the entire thing in his face, we were off and lumbering down the main drag. Fortunately, we had no damage to any parked cars this time around, only the occasional road hog who didn't have the gumption to move out the way. Anyways, Lolly gets off the two way compact mirror and says that Ted's right hand man, Bubble Bobble has been spotted outside the Southbury Junction harassing the customers with his bad crooning and out of sync finger snaps. After inserting the catheter into the Trex's cranium in order to change directions, we were soon lumbering towards the Southbury Junction.

Once we got there, we found that even though Bubble was being restrained by a couple of female bouncers, he was still able to harass people with his out of sync finger snaps. Jumping down from the TRex, it took us longer than normal to land, because a gust of wind briefly blew our parachutes off course. Because we're currently off course, I'll take this opportunity to tell you about the dastardly Bubble Bobble. Bubble has no sense of rhythm or timing. As a kid, he was merciless teased because he could never keep in sync with a song. Always hitting the upbeat, he would soon be flailing his arms in a failed attempt at trying to keep up with the song. As an adult, he put his talents to good use. He would approach musicians and threaten to show up and disrupt their concert. How? By standing in front of the stage and start snapping his fingers on the upbeat.

Anyways, we finally landed, with Lolly landing on top of so as not to ruin her designer clothes or her face or her hair. After getting untangled from the parachute, we ran over and took control of Bubble from the female bouncers. Slapping the 'cuffs on him, my partner said, "Listen you, you better tell us who else is involved with Twinkletoes escape, otherwise..."

"Otherwise what?" asked Bubble in a snotty tone.

"Otherwise, this," said Lolly. This, was Lolly taking out her collapsible makeup kit, unfolding it to its full two feet by two feet size, me taking out a professional camera with a telephoto lens, her taking out a radio and saying, "Professional modeling."

Bubble collapsed to the ground and started blubbering profusely. In between blubbering, he said that the only other person he knew that was involved was Drooler Delight. Quickly packing up our gear, we left Bubble in the safe hands of the two ten year old female bouncers, strapped on our rocket launchers and launched ourselves back up to the TRex-mobile, and took off after Drooler Delight.

Drooler Delight was perhaps the stupidest member of the gang. He wasn't particularly smart, agile or strong. The only thing he had going for him, was the prodigious amount of drool that poured down his mouth whenever he got excited, which was all the time. Thus, he scared the pants out anyone he came across. He made his living by threatening to drool over and into anything that anyone was eating, drinking, smoking, playing, watching or sleeping. And seeing how that large streams of drool were always trailing behind him, this founding member of Drooler's Anonymous was perhaps the most revolting and nauseating criminal we ever had the misfortune in dealing with.

"Say Humpty?" asked Lolly.

"Yeeeesss?" says I.

"Captain Molar says that Drooler is hanging out at the pastry shop and threatening to drool all over the freshly made eclairs."

"Egads, do you know how disgustingly gross that is?"
"I'll say. Hang on a sec," says Lolly, who starts reading her compact a bit more intently. "Captain says that bazooka barfing is going on as we speak."

"Right. Better get that Pepto extinguisher ready."

"Check."

When we arrive at the pastry shop, sure enough, bazooka barfing was going full tilt. We rush in and empty the entire canister of Pepto into the store. While everyone was busy intaking the pleasant cherry flavored liquid, we manage to snag Drooler just as he was trying to sneak out the back door. Handcuffing him, Lolly asks him who else is involved with Ted's escape.

~~

"Not telling," says Drooler as he sprays a gallon of drool all over myself and Lolly.

"Is that so? Well we'll see about that," says Lolly, who takes a tiny little box out her pocket. She shows it to me, I nod my approval, so she shows the it to Drooler.

He takes a hard look at the box, his eyes go wide, and he says, "No! Not that! Anything but that! I'll talk. Frankie Footballer was the point man on this caper!"

"My God, Frankie Footballer!" I exclaimed. "C'mon Lolly, times a wastin'!"

We leave Drooler in the capable hands of the only person who wasn't affected by Drooler..his mother. Tossing her the box of Alum, we run back to the TRex and take the elevator to the head, start the engine and stagger off in the general direction of somewhere.

If Twinkletoes Ted is the brains behind the outfit, then Frankie is very much the brawn. Frankie loves to play any kind of outdoor contact sport, especially football. American, Australian or English, it don't matter. So long as he can pound people into oblivion, he's a happy camper. However, he does have a weak spot.

Lolly gets word that Frankie is busy practicing dog piling on a group of pre-teens. Because Frankie likes contact sport, he ofter goes days/weeks/months without showering. We hurry to the playground before his bad personal hygiene can take its toll on the pre-teens.

Sure enough, when we get there, the pre-teens are trying to rip their clothes off to get rid of the stink. Lolly pulls out a long garden hose from her collapsible makeup kit and begins spraying the area with a soothing anti-bacterial body wash with aloe. Stunned by the sudden torrential downpour of body wash, Frankie passes out.

When he comes to, he finds himself looking down the barrel of a spray bottle of deodorant. "Talk," I says.

"What?" says Frankie.

"Is the Raisin involved?"

I could tell by the pained expression on his face and the smoke bellowing from his ears that Frankie was trying to think.

Before I could act further, Lolly taps my shoulder and points over to a nearby gazebo. Sure enough, Ray Raisin is serenading a restless crowd of people at gunpoint. I ask, "Got the boom box?"

"Yup."

"Let it rip."

~~~

Lolly hits the play button and in an instant, Ray is brought to his knees by the sound of his own voice. Ray is such a horrendous singer that he makes Walter Huang sound like Toni Braxton. We hand out earplugs as we make our way through the crowd and to the gazebo. Once there, Lolly asks Ray where Twinkletoes is.

~~~

"I don't know, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Oh yeah? Maybe if I plug these headphones in, it will loosen your memory?"

"God no, please! I'll talk, I'll talk! Ask Redeye Ralph! He'll know!"

"Where can I find Redeye Ralph? Be quick about it!"
"In the garden of Eden."

Lolly was about to give Ray whatfor when I said, "I know where the Garden of Eden is. C'mon."

We strolls towards the back of the playground, where we find a small tented area located in a far corner. The second we open the flap, the strong overpowering aroma of baked mushrooms drops us to our collective knees.

~~~~

Ralph and Gary the Goldfish come strolling into view. Taking out their hookahs, they sit down in front of us and say, "The truth of what you seek will not be found here, for what you'll find here is only the Harry Mudd version of the truth."

Chewing it back, I say after swallowing, "I'll take the Harry Mudd version of the truth for $20 please."

I watch as Gary take the tube out his mouth and using it as a pointer, points towards the outside of the tent. Not expecting much, I turned around and was immediately met with a ballet shoe to the face...