Anywho, this is a story about a day in the life of one of the fashionable metropolitan areas of the state...gag, retch, choke, vomit....who in the hell wrote this script? Good Lord, narrator flips through the entire script before spitting at it this is really suddenly realizes that about a dozen people are staring at him...a good script.
This is the city, Hartford CT. It was a sunny yet slightly mildewy day. The birds were chirruping away until they slammed into the windows and plummeted to the earth, and splattering like an overripe tomato on street below. Off to the left, a drug dealer's experiment goes haywire and a very small mushroom cloud appears on the horizon.
Anyways, we were doing the day watch out the Redundant Street Crimes & Bad Taste In Clothes Division.
My partner is Officer T. Lollapalooza Popular Kid, or as her close friends like to call her, The Lolly Pop Kid.
My name is Humpty Day, but most of my friends call me Humpty.
It was very quiet that day, as we had nothing really to do since it was the summer time and everyone was either at the beach committing crimes or wearing the appropriate skimpy clothes that were definitely pleasing to the eyes. So while I was busy contemplating whether or not I should make a dart board out of that cursed Red Sox towel, put on my mouse ears or play with Santa Claus, my partner was busy reorganizing the office.
She'd already had the office supplies in order: the copy board resting on top of the printer, the printer loaded with recycled wood pulp that sort of looked like paper, the notebook of our last twenty unsolved cases along with the necessary disposable camera equipment and air fresheners.
Suddenly, like flash, a white light started eating the computer screen. We jumped up and ran over to check it out because the white signaled an incoming e-mail call on the Uncoordinated Dancing Mugger's Line.
I click on the e-mail to open it and a loud horrible screeching sound blows out the tiny speakers. I clear out my ears and read it.
Twinkletoes Ted has escaped from his playpen and is on his way to the city looking to resume his reign of dancing terror on the unsuspecting public!
I turn to my partner and says, "We better go round up his gang for possible leads on his whereabouts!"
"Good idea. This will give me some time to primp my hair and fix my face before heading out!"